Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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