My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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