my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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