Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
