I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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