So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
