ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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