There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
