I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
