ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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