Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
