flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
