Buhtt sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
