last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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