I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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