she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
