You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
