She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
