We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
