Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
