awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
