I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
