Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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