i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize