3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
