i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Found your dick twin last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
