yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
