I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
