sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
