Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
