I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
