haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
