The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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