I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
