So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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