were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
