hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
