And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
