the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
