you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
