Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
