Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
