does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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