You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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