Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
