Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize