so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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