I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
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Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.