He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.