She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup