If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?