I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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