I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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