In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
