You can't motorboat a personality
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
