If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
there's paper in my vomit.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
