It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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