I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
