South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
