I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
