Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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