the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
