i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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