I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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