See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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