Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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