I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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